The Jarbochov Stratagem

Living in the gray.

Zombie-zene Energy Drink

With it still being January and many peoples hopes of losing weight yet uncrushed, I’ve come up with the perfect diet and exercise plan. It’s a little new age, and a bit gimmicky, but I think it’s marketable. It is: The Zombie Apocalypse. That’s right, zombies, an apocalypse, and a better you. Let me lay this down for you.

First, no good exercise plan is without cardio. And what better cardio than running from zombies. You can get your heart rate up and have a great incentive to continue: not getting eaten by zombies. Your terrain will change depending on your location, so you will have some flat land running, down hill running or even, up hill running. Also different types of terrain will also give you more complex types of running workouts. Sewers or rivers will add weight to your clothes. Running through fire will let you feel the burn.

Second, zombies are not great climbers. They have a fear of heights. This will allow you to tone your upper body. Again depending on your location you could be climbing up ladders, stairs, or even rock climbing. With all that climbing you will need to develop a good grip, and flexibility.

Third, moving large objects will help round out your workout. On occasion you will need to block your path from persuing zombies. You may have to move a bookshelf, an armoire , or a boulder.

Now on to your diet. Since it’s an apocalypse and depending on the way the zombie infection circulates, food will most likely not be commonplace. Not only will this control your portion size, but since you are always going to be on the move you will need to move to more nutritious and energy abundant foods instead of empty carbs.

Few people think about the mental workout, or for those who don’t know what that is… thinking. You will need to be steadfast and clever to outwit foes and survive in the new world. Developing strategy will allow you to work smarter, not harder.

Besides the emotional soul breaking and destruction of the world part, this diet and exercise plan is excellent. So stay fit, alert, and alive.

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