Might as well squeeze another blog post in this year.
This year. 2012. This year has been nothing short of a clusterfuck. I started off with great ambitions, as you may have read in my last post. It’s simply amazing how many bad things can happen at once.
This year started with an electrical kerfuffle in our backyard, that eventually had us digging up the backyard, and spending several hundred dollars to AEP to make sure things were hunky-dory.
And everyone knows a large unexpected expense is better paired with being unexpectedly laid off from your job of six years.
Then you throw on not one, but two cars not working. Now you’ve got yourself a keeper of a year. 2012. That isn’t even everything.
But it’s not just me. You see friends going through hard things, life throwing them a curveball, and it all just hits you like a Thwomp. Don’t bring me down, Groose. (two video game references)
After all this hit me, I was very much defeated. I’ve been defeated all year long. It’s hard to write this all out, and still feel anything but bitterness. It becomes hard to remain positive. I can honestly say this year has been one of the, if not the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through as an adult.
This year has changed me, mostly from a way I approach the world, and people. I have lost a lot of optimism, and remains to be seen if I will regain it. I observed during this time, that when people ask you how you’re doing, they aren’t really prepared or equipped when you answer: horrible. It’s become apparent we’re all wrapped up in our own things, some annoying, some downright disheartening. It’s hard to direct what little energy we have left towards other people during their rough times.
I can say when most people go about their lives, the people who do spend time with you, even to talk about things, to distract you, to do you unexpected acts of kindness, you appreciate them. I will never be able to repay certain individuals who have helped me through this year. Most importantly Erica, who has dealt with all of this with me. She’s the one, that’s for sure. They say the first year of marriage is the most challenging, and I think this year was most assuredly the thing to put that to the test.
I have to thank Erica’s Mom and Grandpa who in our time of need managed to buy us a freaking third car so we could get to work, to interviews, to function. I can’t explain how amazing that was for them to do and how grateful I really am.
We planned a vacation to Dragon*Con before all this happened too. We still went through with our plans to keep with it, and it was honestly the first time all year I was able to forget about everything that happened. It probably doesn’t hurt when people are taking hundreds of photos of you like a celebrity. But it’s probably because I went with two amazing friends and we managed to have fun despite being around each other for three days straight.
We have two friends that will drive an hour to meet us halfway in Wilmington, Ohio to eat dinner at a Bob Evans and just talk about their lives for hours, on a weekday no less. Even visit us on their birthday!
I also have two amazing friends that I didn’t have a year ago, who I feel like I’ve been friends with for years.
I have a brother who came out multiple times to spend hours trying to fix a car that refused to be fixed.
And I have a sister (from another mister?) who has helped Erica and I through our hard times, even during hard times of her own.
Despite the horrible past few months none of these people or great things will I ever forget.
Now we’re in the present. It’s already November. Thanksgiving is stunningly only a couple weeks away. While everything from earlier this year hasn’t been resolved, not at all, I was recently employed and can’t wait to direct untapped energy into something productive. We have a car hopefully being analyzed and fixed soon. We just elected MY president for another four terms despite an ever close race. The holidays are right around the corner, and I’ll be spending time with friends again.
And with all of that, when people ask me how I’m doing right now, I can honestly answer: Okay. I’m doing okay.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you ever need anything let me know. I’ll listen.
5 Replies to “The World of Today”
Jared, your heartfelt entry speaks volumes. You have a wonderful ability to make others happy even when you aren’t yourself. I’m glad you are my friend.
Thanks Shawn, that means very much to me.
I love you, dude, you’re a mensch. You give to others, even when you think you have nothing to give.
You’re my bro, not my brother.
Thanks dude. Wash yourself bro!
Even though you talk about feeling bitter and that you feel like you might never get back to original optimism, I saw a lot of optimism in this post. You posted about friends and loved ones that meant a lot to you in a hard time in your life. I mean, this could have been a completely dark and negative post but it wasn’t. Don’t sell yourself short- you’re still looking on the bright side even if you’re swamped with stuff being a bummer for so long.