There have been so many things that I’ve wanted to do, but never did. I know I can’t be the only one who has wanted to carp that Diem guy. I posted on my Instagram story earlier this year that I wanted 2021 to be The Year of Focus. Although it was only officially documented on Flickr, 2020 was The Year of Refreshment. I like using themes for years because they allow flexibility in painting broad strokes of how I want to improve without holding me to rigid goals.

2020 was a horrible year for the world, several people I know, and everyone’s collective mental health. But 2020 did allow me to look inward quite a bit and take stock in the things that matter and realize I’m incredibly grateful for. I made changes in my life in terms of diet and exercise that needed to happen a long time ago. I got a new job that has done wonders for my mental health ¹. And I made some rough outlines of things I wanted to do in the future.

2021 for me has started off not so well. I mean, I’m fine, but a wave of depression hit me last week. I’m generally a person that looks forward and try not to look at my past too often. I don’t like looking at my past through the lens of experience and time. I see mistakes, regret, and friends that I’ve grown apart from². I think I’ve been longing for some strong shared experience social interaction that many of us have had to forego this past year. So many friends I haven’t seen in a long time makes me think do they even remember me? Obviously, in retrospect I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.

Several years ago I posted on Facebook that I wanted to write letters to people and several people replied for me to write letters to them, which sounds great! Except… I never did (see: regret). I got stuck in my head of what I’d write to them. I don’t find myself interesting enough to write about. Again in retrospect I don’t know why I get stuck like this.

As part of THE YEAR OF FOCUS (make sure to hear it in your head in a cool announcer voice), I need to stop giving that stupid voice in my head an audience. Every time I do it just holds me back. So with that said, I’m going to get to writing those letters soon. Better late than never, right?

I hope if you’re reading this that you’re doing well and if you’re feeling the same please reach out. Excelsior!

1. You don’t know how toxic things really are until you’re distanced from them. ↩
2. Although, I will make a note here that journaling helps remedy this a bit. It’s making it a habit that’s difficult. ↩