There have been so many things that I’ve wanted to do, but never did. I know I can’t be the only one who has wanted to carp that Diem guy. I posted on my Instagram story earlier this year that I wanted 2021 to be The Year of Focus. Although it was only officially documented on Flickr, 2020 was The Year of Refreshment. I like using themes for years because they allow flexibility in painting broad strokes of how I want to improve without holding me to rigid goals.
2020 was a horrible year for the world, several people I know, and everyone’s collective mental health. But 2020 did allow me to look inward quite a bit and take stock in the things that matter and realize I’m incredibly grateful for. I made changes in my life in terms of diet and exercise that needed to happen a long time ago. I got a new job that has done wonders for my mental health 1. And I made some rough outlines of things I wanted to do in the future.
2021 for me has started off not so well. I mean, I’m fine, but a wave of depression hit me last week. I’m generally a person that looks forward and try not to look at my past too often. I don’t like looking at my past through the lens of experience and time. I see mistakes, regret, and friends that I’ve grown apart from2. I think I’ve been longing for some strong shared experience social interaction that many of us have had to forego this past year. So many friends I haven’t seen in a long time makes me think do they even remember me? Obviously, in retrospect I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Several years ago I posted on Facebook that I wanted to write letters to people and several people replied for me to write letters to them, which sounds great! Except… I never did (see: regret). I got stuck in my head of what I’d write to them. I don’t find myself interesting enough to write about. Again in retrospect I don’t know why I get stuck like this.
As part of THE YEAR OF FOCUS (make sure to hear it in your head in a cool announcer voice), I need to stop giving that stupid voice in my head an audience. Every time I do it just holds me back. So with that said, I’m going to get to writing those letters soon. Better late than never, right?
I hope if you’re reading this that you’re doing well and if you’re feeling the same please reach out. Excelsior!