Hardcore UNO

We live in an utter utopia of board and video games available to everyone today. There are plenty of niches that are filled and plenty of robust multiplayer experiences. But back in the day, we didn’t have much. The world has had Chess for centuries. Someone somewhere once thought Monopoly was a fun game12. But for the quick pick up and play social game, there was always UNO.

Some people take UNO pretty seriously. I am one of those people. I hold the official rule of ensuring that someone has to say UNO as they are playing their second to last card in the highest regard. However the basic game of UNO can be a little wanting in terms of ACTION! Society has adapted and produced a series of house rules to make the action better, yet they are inconsistent and not very well documented or endorsed. Some even misinterpret the official core ruleset and then are outraged when the official UNO Twitter account posts about it. I admire that everyone had collective Mandela Effect regarding the rules and that they were trying to add a little chocolate to the vanilla. But adding a Draw Two card to a Draw Four Wild card? It’s preposterous and doesn’t make any sense to me. But what if I told you that the makers of UNO had their own MANUFACTURER RECOMMENDED ADDITIONAL RULES? Well… they do.

I have been preaching these for years and no one has taken my word for it. And surprisingly after purchasing a fresh deck of UNO while on vacation I had discovered they were removed from the printed manual. A friend of mine did some Google-fu and found them for me. So I humbly present to you directly from Mattel’s website a PDF with the rules enclosed. There are two specific sections of note3:

  • Progressive UNO
  • Jump-In UNO

These will change your world when it comes to UNO. If you “take UNO seriously” then you need to familiarize yourself with these. They are manufacturer recommended4, easy to interpret and reference, and make the game a blast. Also you might want to start by reading the base rules first anyway. But let’s be honest: UNO is all luck anyways and Disney Princess UNO is the real best version5.

I’ll keep a backup hosted here just in case that link ever dies.

Jared’s Official UNO Rule Modifier: Speed UNO

Not that you asked for it, but here’s my own personal twist on UNO that makes the game aggressively competitive:

Goal: Play as fast as possible.

Penalty: Anyone who loses track of whose turn it is loses their turn and draws two cards. This can be either by asking whose turn it is, or if it gets to them and they don’t realize it’s their turn.

Play with the other rules above for disastrous fun.

  1. Except J.T. Williams always wins.
  2. It isn’t and if you watch Under the Boardwalk: The Monopoly Story you’ll realize how dumb this game is. That’s my opinion of course.
  3. Don’t pay attention to that Seven-O UNO nonsense.
  4. I always find the makers of games have the most balanced and fun “house” rules, rather than just being a slog.
  5. There’s a dragon.

Working Software Titles

I find working in Photoshop the closest thing to therapy. Once I have an idea, I can make something happen. Here are some dumb ideas I made:

From the team that brought you Wario Teaches Money Laundering comes follow up to the classic hit Get Off Waluigi’s Lawn! 2. Those pesky kids are back , and you have to make sure Waluigi doesn’t get a citation from his Home Owners Association.

“Get off my lawn you keeeds, I’ve gotta wahhhter it!”

Cherup & Cherup Securities Cruises Extended Warranties and Catering knows that running a business can be hard. Especially when you’ve got a few Johnny Loose Lips running around. Well now you can practice your business ideas before putting them into practice, and all you need is a copy of our latest software Cherup & Cherup Securities Cruises Extended Warranties and Catering Racketeering Simulator for the Nintendo Family Computer system. You probably have one laying around. Go look.

“It’d be a shame if something were to happen to your knees in the middle of the night.”

We also offer other great titles like Luigi & Knuckles at the Jazz and RibFest 2003, and the challenging puzzle game Toitris. “Can you nip all the problems in the bud, chief?”